My email communication with WILDWASSER - a German organisation and network for abuse survivors -
has been compromised.
I do not appreciate, I have to admit.
My screen's keeping on
flickering turning my writing into brief moments of darkness reminding me
it could be worse
like when some years ago working on the same topic
about Heidegger
quoting / relying on / working thinking with the / unnameable / Judith Butler
about the unconscious part of subjectivity and its relationship with coercive norms
or simpler
the normative force. bending / splitting from an normative setting / outside the I into the half born Ego
which - for unknwon reasons except the new normal propaganda - had to remind me that some things some persons beings are destinated to be sorted out.
Flickering. Hate
I do not appreciate.
Not in the case of me researching on behalf the Odenwald teaching and education
not in the case of Joachim Schoeps
Nor even in the case of Haushofers' relatives
I do not appreciate that child abuse in the protestant Church of Germany is turned into a weapon
something called trojan horse
which has been used to infect my computer.
The reason for my nonappreciation does not lie only on the roots my upbringing and my shitty family are entrenched with:
ma famille malsaine comme ces gens-Lá de ma famille française ont coutume de les appeler - qui veulent pour rien au monde être affiliés á quelque chose comme moi.
Not only on behalf of something Rudolf Hess called les amitiés electives
Wahlverwandschaften - Goethe's book they gave to him keeping him waiting to be condemned.
I do not appreciate because I have already been beaten up
by this afroaméricain someone thought funny to send
or this hyper arrogant Jewish person imbu par lui-même et sa haine.
It is not because I am scarred
but because this is the end of philosophy.
As if a cunt like me a public vulgar obscene figure
had ever an idea about a more decent outcome a small hint of rationality.
I do not appreciate because from the rotten bottom of my genetic conditions not only Husserl' s philosophy is affected
or Montessorian attitude towards mentally ill or retarded children is affected
even menon, the socratian Menon comes to an end
You don't care.
And the instance censoring me knows perfectly well that nobody will contradict him
everybody knows for sure a mentallw ill person like me will never reach out into a kind of understanding
because understanding and rationality must be PURE not vulgar or obscene.
My Chrismas dinenr my Christmas figure is that of child abuse
or mentally illness
up to me to choose what ever
No Christian idea
of poenitentia
and repentir
no long way into understanding and mental reconstruction
Vengeance humiliation empowerment - is somewehere else and will always be.
But to me
Philosophy itself seems to be ridiculised by the fact that mentally minor firgure is interrupted
ridiculised in the moment when he or she is trying desperately to understand something on his own trying to reach the ends
to understand culpability or the responsability of a criminal
But upsetting even more is the fact that nobody seems to be interested into the question
who benefitted
or beneftis still today
where are the pictures ...the paintings the real valuable stuff
whree are all those stolen books or those have been saved
where did all The money go
all those question still remaining on the desktop when you have blocked all the other issues while you're not interested in the relations between Heidegger and Haushofer Heidegger and Risse, Buber and Heidegger, Buber and Ernst Simon, Jabotinski or Avram Stern
or Hauhofer and
and..
because Philosophy is the tiny thing withouut real biographies without the real shitty living life
because You think Philosophie about genetics and genesis would have been published more QUICKLY.
